Good Thing in Life

I have many good things in life that I often embrace, and other times do not embrace. I would have to say my family is the best thing in my life. I was very fourtanate to be blessed with the family I have have, but I certainly do not always embrace it. My family consists of an older brother, sister, sister-in-law, two neices, and my parents. When I need support, encouragement, advice or just someone to hang out with, they are always the first I call. At times, however, I feel overwhelmed with such a close family and I become irritated and cut my phone off for the night. I haven't always felt my family was a good thing though. When I was in high school I thought because they cared about my rebellious ways they were too overprotective. I thought because my sister would tell my parents when I snuck out or skipped school she was a suck up. I thought my father's empahsis on the importance of education was a little ridiculous. I did not embrace it at all. Now, though, we have become a unit and I see how privileged I am and I see all the families struggling and fighting to survive, and if all we have is eachother we are going to be able to make it!

two sources

Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor is a book that almost gives a guideline of ways people surviving cancer can help cope. it is almost like a journal, with places provided to write personal experiences and emotions. I liked the book more once I actually read some of the tips and information. Judging by the title it sounds a little too much of making cancer seem rewarding, but this book is not really like that. Granted, it does try to point out all the positives of surviving cancer, it allows the survivor to decide if they became a better person after cancer. There are positives for surviving cancer, for instance: your life!

Another source I have been exploring is an article written by Elizabeth Ervin. She was a professor at UNCW when she lost her battle to cancer. the article is titled, "There's Nothing Good about Cancer." In her article, she puts a different spin on the idea that there are good things to come from cancer. She disagrees with the idea and provides it through her personal struggle. She does say in her first line that everyone battling cancer has the right to experience it the way they want. She was very young, early 40s, when she was diagnosed with a "terminal" cancer. She had a full life ahead of her and had not lived any kind of lifestyle that would point her towards cancer. She had a career and family, which was taken from her. Her view of cancer opened my mind up. It brought back all those feelings of absolute fury I felt when the doctor told me my mother had less than six months to live. I brought back the hate I felt towards cancer the pain I saw my mother endure and try to overcome. Needless to say, this article brought me to tears. After letting my mother (who is surprisingly optimistic about cancer) read this article and asked for her feed back. she responded with, "I hate cancer, I never wanted or asked for it, and now it effects every aspect of my life everyday. I was 19 when I was first diagnosed and my whole life changed." She then continued to say, "I do not know her [Ervin] personal experience, but as a survivor I have to find the positives or I'll live a miserable life, and that is not the life i fought for." Ervin's article is very important for my topic because it is true and so many people write about the idea that if they could do it all again they would because of the person it has made them today. To that, I say "bs" and my mother agrees. Her countless nights in the hospital prevented her from seeing me to prom, watching me and my siblings in our sports, missing our birthdays. We as her children do not find that at all important, but to her she feels she has failed us. So, Dr. Ervin's address to cancer is more than creditable and deserve to be deemed courageous. I want the truth and she certainly gives it to me.

The most important advice I've been given

The most important advice that I have probably been given would be to never let someone or thing control your life, if you want something go get it. I think that advice is a wonderful thing, but a lot of times it is experience that creates advice. When I was younger I always wanted to go to college and be "successful", but when high school came around my high school counselor told me I would not get into any college with my grades. I was a rebel to say the least.... I listened to him and allowed the stigma he created about me dictate my life. I never felt good enough and thought so many times about giving up. Circumstances in my life in my high school career were rather different than most and school could not be a main priority. HOWEVER, I was transferred to a boarding school and completed high school first in my class, and was accepted into a 4 year college. As much as it hurt to hear a guidance counselor telling me basically to give up, I continued on and reached my goal. My advice was created through my own experience and has guided me through many hardships and obstacles. Allowing someone to get in the way of your dreams and goals is unfortanate, instead take that stigma or opinion and use it as fuel to purserver.

On page 49 Machiavelli discusses the difference between generosity and parsimony. He says that if a ruler is too genourous it will destory him bascially becasue he will lead a life of spending a lot of money on things that are seemingly useless. He says that generosity may build your reputation but sink your wallet which stood out to me. it stood out to me because it seems like many rulers spend money on rather odd sometimes fashionable things when there are people in thier countries dying or without food. I think what he is trying to say is: even if you are not seen as a genoruous person or ruler that does not mean you are a bad one; just pick what needs the money the most and be generous in that feild. I think that goes with everyday life. i tend to spend my money on things for myself and others, and give them lavish gifts-then at the end of the week I am left with no grocery or gas money. I am also too generous with my time, I will offer to babysit my neices for no price when I have a huge test the next day or a paper to write. I wear myself thin with giving everyone time and myself not enough. I know this isn't quite the core of what Machiavelli was saying, but it made me wander into other related thoughts.

Childhood memory vision of success

A childhood memory that helped shape my vision of success was the extremely different view my parents had on success. Growing up, my parents started a popular surf shop here in Wilmington. They would work from 8am until 10 pm. Before I began middle school my father owned a surf shop, bar and restaurant- with my mom as the head cook bartender and manager of the store, to say the least they worked hard. My dad never drove a nice car, although he could probably afford one, NEVER wore expense clothes, although he could probably buy them, and never EVER spoke about how much he made. My mother was the same way. I remember my dad dropping me off at school in his old beat up ford fairmont and everyone laughing at me, I came home and cried and told him he ruined my life. He just smiled and said, "I am just trying to make an adult out of you". He and my mother retired at 40, he never had to work again after that, instead of buying expensive cars, clothes and material he invested and saved. Now he lives in Costa Rica, put me through college, my brother through Chapel Hill, and now through UNCW grad school, my sister through UNCG and we never one day had to worry if we could go to college. He and my mother now have 34 acres of land in Costa Rica and live happily part time there. To me, from childhood success has been instilled in me as working hard for things that can not be taken away, such as education. Also, success is not expressed by who thinks you are successful, but by what you believe is success... In other words success is not others impression but your own vision of yourself.

Art of Living Inspiration

Many of these topics Epictetus writes about seem to speak to me and what is going on in my life. One, however, has stood out to me the most. On page 58, the title of the passage is: "Don't Defend Your Reputation or Intentions". This is all about not really worrying what people have to say about you or listening to unwanted criticism. Every in life has someone that is probably not fond of them and tends to say untrue or hateful things about them- it's life. I have been recently dealing with something similar in my life with an individual that actually does not know me really at all, they have tried to sabotage my relationship and get me fired from my job. I have never had to deal with such childish and petty things in my life. Of course I have ignored it, acted like it has not affected me, and painted a smile for everyone around. at night, however, I go over and over and over in my head why this person has such a deep rooted hate for me... it brings me to tears, then I read this passage and it really made me think that what people, especially those who do not matter in my life, say about me is not in my control therefore I should not dwell on it. I have so many other things that deserve my tears, not some stranger.

My Favorite Place

Ever since I was four years old my family and I have traveled. We have traveled throughout America, Central America and Africa. I have been very lucky to see such beautiful places and learn so much. Throughout these travels my father fell in love with Costa Rica and eventually bought land, built a house and spends about half his time there. My mother fell in love with the country and she will drive miles just to take her horse there to ride. On numerous occasions I have heard them both say, "this is my favorite place in the world". I, however, have probably- to most- a much less desirable place that is my favorite place: my mother's bed. Odd as it sounds it has been my shelter, my hiding place, my comfort, my shoulder to cry on and my support. When I was a child my mother and father would travel for weeks on end for their business, and we were cared for by a sitter. As soon as everyone was asleep I would climb into my mother's bed and be able to fall asleep. Later on when I was 15 my mother was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and was sent to Duke for Stem cell treatment. She was in isolation for 18 months, in those months my father rented an apartment and stayed with her. Every night, again I would sneak into her bed and let out all the emotions I had held inside all day. Throughout the years I don't think my family has ever caught on. But it remains my favorite place it reminds me of her when she is not able to be touched or reached. Whether or not my family knows it makes me feel safe :)